Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear
Heard on a radio station.Heard on a radio station What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?"He's a real fun guy [fungi]." 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:* Compliment her * cuddle her * kiss her * caress her * love her * stroke her * tease her * comfort her * protect her * hug her * hold her * spend money on her * wine & dine her * buy things for her * listen to her * care for her * stand by her * support her * go to the ends of the earth for her.... HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN: * Show up naked. 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Events: BEST MAN SPEECH
Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.