Heard on a radio station.Heard on a radio station What did the female mushroom say about the male mushroom?"He's a real fun guy [fungi]." 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂
Grandma's been staring through the window ever since it started to snow. If it gets any worse I'll have to let her in.
Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me.
Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?
My wife made me a green hamburger today to celebrate St Patricks Day. I asked her how she colored it and she said she didn't know what I was talking about.
Events: ST. PATRICK'S DAY
My wife still hasn't told me what my New Year's resolutions are.
Events: NEW YEAR
I'm great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
Just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year, not to cause any trouble but shouldn't that be an even number?