First woman: My son came to visit for summer vacation. Second woman: How nice! Did you meet him at the airport? First woman: Oh, no. I've known him for years!

Topic: KIDS, TRAVEL, WOMEN

Events: SPRING

I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.

Topic: AGE, COMMUNICATION, KIDS

Events:

My wife gave birth 4 times and still fits in her prom dress from high school. I gave birth 0 times and I don't fit in my pants from March.

Topic: FAT, KIDS, LIFE, MARRIAGE, SCHOOL

Events:

Children in the back seats of cars cause accidents, but accidents in the back seats of cars cause children.

Topic: CAR, KIDS, SEX

Events:

My wife is so negative. I remembered the car seat, the stroller, AND the diaper bag. Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.

Topic: CAR, KIDS, MEN

Events:

What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant? "Are you sure it's mine?"

Topic: BLONDE, KIDS

Events:

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