Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, SEX, WOMEN

Events: BIRTHDAY

What do you get when you cross a snoman and a vampire? Frost bite.

Topic: ALCOHOL, BLONDE, FAMILY

Events: WINTER

Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me.

Topic: FAMILY, HAPPINESS, LIFE

Events: WEDDING

So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

Topic: BEAUTY, BLONDE, FAMILY, HAPPINESS

Events: WEDDING

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, HAPPINESS

Events: THANKSGIVING

They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.

Topic: AGE, ATTITUDE, FAMILY

Events: ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Why are frogs so happy? They eat whatever bugs them!

Topic: BEAUTY, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS

Events: SPRING

I was going to quit all my bad habits for the new year, but then I remembered that nobody likes a quitter.

Topic: ATTITUDE, FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP

Events: NEW YEAR

My New Year's resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.

Topic: FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, HAPPINESS

Events: NEW YEAR

Fathers Day is just like Mothers Day, only you don't spend as much.

Topic: FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP, PEOPLE

Events: FATHER'S DAY, MOTHER'S DAY

Result:   1-10 of 10
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