Boy: Isnt the principal a dummy!

Girl: Say, do you know who I am? Boy: No. Girl: Im the principals daughter. Boy: And do you know who I am? Girl: No, Boy: Thank god! via Girl And Boy Jokes

Topic: BEAUTY, DEATH, DIRTY, FIGHTING, MONEY, WOMEN

Events: APRIL FOOLS DAY, AUTUMN

I would request a last meal of soda and pop rocks so I could die on my own terms.

Topic: DEATH, FOOD

Events:

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death. Death is number two. Does that sound right? This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy.

Topic: DEATH, LIFE, PEOPLE

Events:

Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But,smoking bacon will cure it.

Topic: DEATH, DRUG, FOOD, HEALTH, SARCASTIC

Events:

My dad died when we couldn't remember his blood type. As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.

Topic: DEATH, FAMILY, PUNS, SARCASTIC

Events:

About a month before he died, my uncle had his back covered in lard. After that, he went down hill fast.

Topic: DEATH, FAMILY, PUNS

Events:

What's Blonde and dead in a closet? The Hide and Seek Champion from 1995.

Topic: BLONDE, DEATH, SARCASTIC, TIME

Events:

I hope when I inevitably choke to death on gummy bears people just say I was killed by bears and leave it at that.

Topic: ATTITUDE, DEATH, FOOD, PEOPLE, SARCASTIC

Events:

I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Topic: ANIMAL, DEATH, RUDE, SARCASTIC

Events:

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Topic: AGE, DEATH, DOCTOR, HEALTH

Events:

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