What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding Cake!

Topic: ALCOHOL, ANIMAL, BEAUTY

Events: AUTUMN, BEST MAN SPEECH, BIRTHDAY, WEDDING

I don't think I'll be able to get my Mom what she really wants on Mother's Day – a doctor for a son-in-law.

Topic: ALCOHOL, ANIMAL, BEAUTY

Events: AUTUMN, BEST MAN SPEECH, CHRISTMAS, MOTHER'S DAY

She wanted a puppy. But I didn't want a puppy. So we compromised and got a puppy.

Topic: ANIMAL, ATTITUDE, WOMEN

Events:

Life is all about perspective. The sinking of the Titanic was a miracle to the lobsters in the ship's kitchen.

Topic: ANIMAL, ATTITUDE

Events:

Did Noah include termites on the ark?

Topic: ANIMAL, CHRISTIAN

Events:

I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

Topic: ANIMAL, HATE, LOVE, MEN, WOMEN

Events:

I'm not saying your perfume is too strong. I'm just saying the canary was alive before you got here.

Topic: ANIMAL, DEATH, RUDE, SARCASTIC

Events:

What's the difference between men and pigs? Pigs don't turn into men when they drink.

Topic: ALCOHOL, ANIMAL, MEN

Events:

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?

Topic: AGE, ANIMAL, LIFE

Events:

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