Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, SEX, WOMEN

Events: BIRTHDAY

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, HAPPINESS

Events: THANKSGIVING

They say St. Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland. I wonder if he could do that for Congress.

Topic: AGE, ATTITUDE, FAMILY

Events: ST. PATRICK'S DAY

Aging gracefully is like the nice way of saying you're slowly looking worse.

Topic: AGE, RUDE

Events:

I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.I like having conversations with kids. Grownups never ask me what my third favorite reptile is.

Topic: AGE, COMMUNICATION, KIDS

Events:

I grew a beard thinking it would say "Distinguished Gentleman." Instead, turns out it says, "Senior Discount, Please!"

Topic: AGE, ATTITUDE

Events:

The question isn't at what age I want to retire, it's at what income.

Topic: AGE, MONEY, RETIREMENT

Events:

At what age is it appropriate to tell my dog that he's adopted?

Topic: AGE, ANIMAL, LIFE

Events:

I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.

Topic: AGE, DEATH, DOCTOR, HEALTH

Events:

Talking to a liberal is like trying to explain social media to a 70 years old.

Topic: AGE, COMMUNICATION, INSULTS, IT, POLITICAL

Events:

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