One liner of the day

Last night I got so drunk that when I got to the bottom of the stairs, I took off my shoes, coat, top, trousers and underwear

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, SEX, WOMEN

Events: BIRTHDAY

If money doesn't grow on trees why do banks have branches? 🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂

Topic: MONEY, TRAVEL, WORK

Events: SPRING

What do you get when you cross a snoman and a vampire? Frost bite.

Topic: ALCOHOL, BLONDE, FAMILY

Events: WINTER

What food diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%? Wedding Cake!

Topic: ALCOHOL, ANIMAL, BEAUTY

Events: AUTUMN, BEST MAN SPEECH, BIRTHDAY, WEDDING

Weddings and funerals are the same because I love going but I don't want them to be about me.

Topic: FAMILY, HAPPINESS, LIFE

Events: WEDDING

So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response.

Topic: BEAUTY, BLONDE, FAMILY, HAPPINESS

Events: WEDDING

Do you love me because I am beautiful or I am I beautiful because you love me?

Topic: BEAUTY, FLIRTY, LIFE

Events: VALENTINES

And in her smile I see something more beautiful than the stars.

Topic: BEAUTY, FLIRTY, LOVE

Events: VALENTINES

Help! This is my first time cooking for Thanksgiving. The turkey's been in the oven for two hours, and it's still running around!

Topic: BLONDE, MISTAKE, RUDE

Events: THANKSGIVING

There's always something to be thankful for on Thanksgiving. Even if it's just not being a turkey.

Topic: AGE, FAMILY, HAPPINESS

Events: THANKSGIVING

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